In 2004, I decided to leave my full-time editing job
at a small publishing company in the Midwest, move to New England and go
back to school for my MFA degree in fiction. I'd been at my job for
eighteen years, and it was a good job, with great people and tasks I
enjoyed. I'd learned so much working with the editing team, but I'd
come to a place where I wanted very much to test the waters, see if I
could create/write full-time, have as much space and energy as I wanted.
A
collection of short stories and a couple of novels were simmering. I
also needed more advanced skills, so the MFA program felt like the next
step.
Wonderful dream. Instant upheaval. Not only did I
immediately lose benefits and salary, I had too much time on my hands.
That totally astonished me--that, left to my own devices with unlimited
time, I fell into a rather uncomfortable state.
I got sick of
myself, to put it plainly. Structure and everyday outflow provided by
my salaried job was gone. I had to organize myself.
Setting Up a Full-Time (or Even Part-Time) Writing Routine
Books
about writers' routines are fun to read. I love Daily Rituals by Mason
Currey. Short glimpses into the daily lives of Fitzgerald, Orwell,
Alice Munro, and many other writers I admire, showed me how hard it is
to write, day after day, without a support team. I didn't have a
stay-at-home spouse or a full-time cook or housekeeper. I didn't have a
studio or attic where I could sequester myself. I didn't enjoy
spending the wee hours out drinking in cafes with friends and discussing
my day's work (this seemed to be a regular rhythm for many writers).
There
were some who managed to write without the "team." So I studied what I
could of the early writing routines of Alice Munro (kids, writes
quietly in spare moments), J.K. Rowling (wrote in cafes), and Jane
Austen (wrote underneath her needlepoint). I got myself a private
corner of the house and decided to write each morning after kid and
spouse were gone, take a midday break to go outside, and write again in
the afternoon.
I managed it for three weeks before I fell into a
depression. My writing was miserable, and so was I. So I began looking
for other writers and a place out of the house to write--I felt I
needed that human buzz to wake me up from isolation. I found a
Starbucks and a library. I found two writers groups. But most
important, I found another job.
It's Not Failure to Work and Write--You Might Be a Happier Writer!
In
my experience, there are a few drawbacks to making writing your
full-time occupation, when you haven't published (much) already. They
are:
1. Putting too much pressure on making money with your writing before it's ready:
Don't quit your day job and expect your never-published writing to
instantly make you a living. You'll feel free for a few weeks or
months, then you'll feel desperate. The writing process will become
hateful, because not selling your stories or essays or novel will begin
to convince you the writing is crap. It's not. It's just not sellable
quite yet. Judging your writing's worth by how it produces income is a
terrible burden on your creative self.
2. Self-absorption:
Too much time with yourself can lead to several outcomes. The one I
experienced was depression, too much introversion and introspection,
leading to a skewed view of myself. The other possibility is an intense
fascination in your own inner life, which can also skew your
perspective. People are healthy mirrors, if they are kind and balanced,
and they help you outflow and stay healthy in the world via service to
others. This is not just altruistic; it's universal law. Give out, and
you'll get back. Give only to yourself, and you'll shrink inside.
3. Unbalancing the home life:
Want a good relationship with your partner and kids? I'm no
relationship expert, but I've learned the hard way that if a writer
disappears into her writing for too long, spouse and children feel
abandoned. Then they begin to sabotage all creative efforts, without
meaning to--they just are dying from lack of attention. Your attention
is your love, so the desperation to make writing Number One can cause a
great imbalance in the home life.
4. Handling creative tension:
Most writers suck at handling creative tension. Creative tension is
the ability to not talk about your work, not dissipate the energy that's
building as you explore an idea. Know someone who can't kept a
secret? Many writers can't "hold" the secret of their incubating work.
They have to spill it--read the pages out loud immediately, post them
to all Facebook friends. Guess what happens? No energy build up, no
energy left for the next day's writing, and too easy to get side-swiped
by a casual criticism. Creative tension is a muscle that needs time to
build.
My current job is teaching writing and editing for
publishers and individual writers as a freelancer. It connects well
with my own writing routine--they feed each other. Some days it's
exhausting to teach or edit, and I have to work hard to make time for my
own writing. I don't have unlimited hours anymore, but I have enough.
In fact, I've gotten two books published and many articles
since I quit my "real" job in 2004. A third book is almost finished.
None of this was accomplished when I was completely free and on my own.
All happened after I went back to work.
If You're Considering Quitting the Day Job . . .
Look
over the four pitfalls above. See how they relate to you. Don't
assume you will breeze through them. Approach your dream of full-time
writing as if it were a business, as if you had to report to yourself on
its success at year's end. What do you have in place, what do you need
to research more?
Some good resources (this week's exercise) to check out:
10 Questions Writers Must Ask Before Quitting Their Day Job
On Writing Full-Time
To Plunge or Not to Plunge
Is It Time to Quit Your Day Job and Become a Full-Time Writer?
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