Jealousy and Envy in the Writing Life (Does This Happen to You?)

I finished a really GOOD novel last month--written by someone else, a writer who is just entering the publishing scene but has done a marvelous job with her first book. It was light and fun, but it touched on difficult subjects such as aging in our society and loss of a child. I wanted to finish my day so I could get back to it each evening. I was very bereft when I read the last page. I might read it again right away.

(The novel was Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt, if you want to check it out. It may not hit you the same way as it did me, but I loved it.)

The next morning, when I sat down to write, I couldn't. I was able to journal up a storm, but writing fiction felt impossible. Like the channel was clogged. I pushed myself but the result was not worth the time.

I took a walk in the snow and thought about it. It seemed astonishing that reading a good book would cause my writing to stopper up. And I realized I was envious. Envious of this bright younger writer who has struck gold with her first book. I struck gold too, with my first nonfiction book when I was a food writer decades ago. But when I switched to fiction, each of my books has been a struggle--to write, to edit, to publish.

After all these years, it seemed ridiculous that I didn't know better--that I would let jealousy and envy affect my own writing. But it's a situation many of my students have talked about in the past. Some, even loathe to read because the comparison depresses them.

I don't think of myself as an envious or jealous person. I have too much to be grateful for--a lovely life, indeed. But there it was. Undeniable.

I let myself wallow for about a day, maybe two. Did a jigsaw puzzle, took the dogs on more walks than they are used to, cooked a lamb stew that filled the house with wonderful smells. Took a long hot bath. Napped. Didn't read or write. Journaled, yes, to get on paper exactly the feelings that were surfacing. This all helped. Perhaps the distance was the most helpful.

Since we all go through this, or may, I wanted to share some great tips and techniques I found during my recovery period. And I'm happy to say, I am writing again, happily supporting other writers, and acknowledging the fine line we creative artists all walk.

If you have met the green-eyed monster lately, check out these inspiring posts. If the links don't work, search for "writer jealousy' and the name of the publication below.

This wonderful article comes from The Writer magazine. It lists workable steps to relieve oneself of envy. The most important step, one which I firmly believe in, is to pay it forward. View fellow writers not as competition but as community. Pay forward your goodwill and support them as they reach their shining star. Replace envy with gladness, as the author said.

Another equally helpful article in Medium talked about ways to turn jealousy into compassion.

And an older article from the New York Times offered other spins on the subject, very worth the read.